i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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