D3 body, D1 cock
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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