I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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