I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
