So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize