you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
third nipple confirmed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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