Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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