Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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