no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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