just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I will pee on everything he values.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
