my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Randomize
