Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
