At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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