Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
