His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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