My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize