dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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