She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
