the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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