I didn't shave. On purpose
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
a search helicopter?!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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