i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
