k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
