can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize