Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Drake has all the answers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize