I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize
