life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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