Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
