ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
