tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
