I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am naked and annoyed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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