It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
