got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
is wine microwaveable?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
