I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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