But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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