id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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