mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
