I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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