he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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