i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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