Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you never un-have a 4some
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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