And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
