This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize