I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
