is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
