: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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