They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
foreskin is a definite game changer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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