Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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