Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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