I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
