when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize