East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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