hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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