hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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