So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
