Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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