I hope mine doesn't look like that
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
