booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize