Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
