Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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