I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
barbara walters just said penis...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
