Just fell off a train. Bad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
