stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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