pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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