Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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