if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
