i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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